


behind my eyes, it’s coming down

by dragulamutual



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, M/M, implied sonia/gundham but not nearly enough to tag it, post-trial 5, the only happy thing in this is the mention of gundham’s hamsters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24871945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragulamutual/pseuds/dragulamutual
Summary: On particularly bad nights before, he’d close his eyes and let his mind spin the roulette wheel of which image to project this time. Now, he realises, it’s just the warehouse over and over again.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	behind my eyes, it’s coming down

It’s beyond dark outside by the time they’re on their way back to the hotel. If it was under any other circumstance, maybe Hajime could enjoy it - the night sky is pretty, used to be calming, and there are lights flickering over the bridges from the other islands illuminating the same path he’s walked hundreds of times with a strange, dim glow. He glances over as he passes them, one by one, and feels a new wave of dull regret hit him with every memory that resurfaces, laughs almost silently at the irony of the fact that the places lighting the way are the ones he’s grown to hate the most.

They walk back together in a silence he’s come to associate with the post-trial nausea of these late night journeys home. It’s not unusual for them to give each other space, but he wishes for once that someone would just  _ say something  _ instead of looking at him with such horrible sadness in their eyes. He turns to glance at Akane and she whips her head around the second he meets her eyes, suddenly focusing intently on the grass at the side of the path.

She catches his arm before they head their separate ways at the hotel entrance and stands, eyes dark with worry, trying to search for what to say.

‘I’ll be fine,’ he insists, but the crack in his voice suggests the opposite, and he feels sick at the pity in her gaze.

‘I know it’s difficult,’ she replies, plastering her trademark smile across her face. ‘I’m here, and I’m sorry.’

Even at the best of times, nights on the islands hadn’t been easy. He laughs to himself, berating himself for ever thinking he could count any of this as a better time, as though days hadn’t been split between Bad and Worse, as if he could ever open a door without the fear of finding one of his friends behind it slumped against a wall, or tied lifeless against a pillar, or suspended in the fucking air. Or on the floor, behind the remnants of a curtain, looking horrible, and too pale, and too much at once, and too much in general, and  _ gruesome,  _ good god, nothing could have fucking prepared him for that. 

On particularly bad nights before, he’d close his eyes and let his mind spin the roulette wheel of which image to project this time. Now, he realises, it’s just the warehouse over and over again. He’s not sure how he managed to remember the scene in such horrific detail but he can see it, now, as if he’s right there again, can practically smell the smoke and hear that stupidly ominous hymn playing over the tinny speakers. How fitting, he thinks, that Nagito orchestrated his own demise to such excruciating detail. How stupidly characteristic it was of him to make sure it’d stick in their minds, from the blaze of the flames to the sight of the cardboard cutouts burned and flaking on the floor, how poignant of him to ensure that he’d be waiting there, front and center, framed by the disarray he caused, the only thing left intact after the fire went out. He’s seen Nagito more than he’d ever catch himself admitting to anyone - smiling to himself at the restaurant, and smug, when he figures something out before anyone else, and soft, even, at peace, just the two of them. He’s seen him sleeping, and he’s seen him in pain, and he’s seen him in his hope-driven manic state of excitement. He wishes, more than anything, to wipe the image of the sick combination of the three clean out of his mind, or at least just the picture of the stupid masochistic half-smile that remained once the tape was gone. 

He’s not sure what time it is when he stands up from his bed, blinks the tears out of his eyes, and heads outside, and he doesn’t care. The cool night air hits him all at once and he sighs, letting it wash over him as he heads towards the room two doors down from his that he’s now so stupidly familiar with and sits down outside it, staring up at the door in silence.

‘I don’t know how much longer we are going to be here,’ calls a soft voice from his left, ‘but I’m happy to have company.’ He turns his head and sees Sonia, cross-legged on the floor about two metres away, smiling softly.

He opens his mouth to reply, but can’t quite find the words. He nods, instead, a simple but effective gesture of solidarity, and she seems satisfied enough.

‘I think his hamsters are warming up to me,’ she continues, gesturing to Gundham’s door, her voice unsteady. ‘I’m doing my best to take good care of them.’

‘He’d appreciate that,’ Hajime replies, turning back to face the ground. 

‘I think so, too.’ He can almost hear the smile in Sonia’s voice. ‘We spoke about them a lot. He showed me that they can do all kinds of cool tricks.’

‘They’re part of your legion of loyal followers, I guess.’

She laughs, just once, and turns to him. ‘I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I am not exactly the best leader.’

‘Then take over from him,’ Hajime suggests. ‘Animals might be your calling, now.’

‘I wish I could give you the same advice.’ Sonia glances forlornly at the room in front of Hajime, narrowing her eyes slightly. ‘I’m afraid I don’t think you’re particularly lucky, however.’

He shakes his head and sighs, letting the cool air wash through his lungs. ‘I think if there was such a thing as an Ultimate Unlucky Student, I’d take that for sure.’

Sonia stands up, fiddling with her shirt sleeves as she turns towards the other end of the hotel, ready to head back to her room. ‘Please do not stay out too late,’ she says, placing a comforting hand on Hajime’s shoulder as she walks past. 

‘Sonia,’ he shouts, almost desperate, as she nears the door of her room. She turns back and tilts her head in confusion. ‘Do you think,’ he continues, almost choking on the words as they rise out of his throat, ‘it will get much easier?’

She smiles sadly, shrugs her shoulders and heads inside, and he hates himself for enabling -  _ becoming  _ \- such a cliche. The night air wraps around him like a blanket as he turns and stares blankly at Nagito’s door, that last morbid expression burning into his mind, and he’s so cold, so lost, so alone, so  _ unlucky. _

**Author's Note:**

> finished sdr2 today and i am choosing to ignore my genuine emotional attachment to komaeda by writing sad shit. i am so aware i’m sixteen million years late to the danganronpa party. oops  
> title taken from lucky by aurora, which is my current favourite song to cry to and think about how nice things would be if they’d all just had a nice school trip oh god oh fuck


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